And the Battle Rages On
by Andi-iRock
Summary: According to Fitz, Eli has MANY issues. According to Eli, Fitz is stupid. Just some small,humorous fights between the two boys that eventually boil down to the ULTIMATE fight! :D
1. And the Battle Rages On

**Ok this was written cause my friend told me to :D not that Im complaining. If I get some good enough reviews I may make more situations like this where uncontrollable giggling is triggered! enjoy! :D**

It was the day after Fitz had taken it upon himself to beat up Eli, when Clare saw him walking in the hallway, looking a little worse for wear, but there nonetheless.

"What are you doing here? I thought you might stay home and recover some more before coming back" Clare said walking by his side to their shared English class.

"And let that jerk think he actually hurt me. Not a chance St. Clare." Eli smirked , nodded a greeting to Adam and took his seat just as the bell rang. Clare rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated sigh as the teacher took her spot at the front of the class and started delving into their latest topic: Romeo and Juliet.

After the bell rang letting the class out, the three friends started walking to the cafeteria talking about nothing in particular in the line.

"Hey emo boy! Thought I took care of you yesterday." Fitz said, leaning over the back of Eli as he stood against the counter of the lunch line.

"Really? I could have told you right then and there that you hit like Clare, which, no offense Clare, isn't even hard at all." Eli continued to put select food items on his tray, back still turned to Fitz.

"You just don't know when to keep your mouth shut do you?" Fitz said as Eli turned around to face him finally.

"Not really, but we both have problems today don't we?" Eli said, trying to step around Fitz to go sit down, but Fitz put his arm in front of Eli, denying him to go anywhere.

"Whats that suppose to mean Dr. Doom?"

"It means you shouldn't shove food in your face." Eli said, placing his hand perfectly underneath his tray.

"I'm not even eating." Fitz said looking thoroughly confused.

"Well then here ya go." And in an instant Eli's tray of food was plated firmly in Fitz's face, the force knocking him to the ground.

Eli stood there, smirk firmly plastered to his face while Fitz wiped what he could of the taco meet off of his face.

"Your gonna get your wish." Fitz said throwing more food off of him.

"And what wish is that?"Eli asked, not seeing where Fitz was going with that remark.

"Your gonna be one of the dead now!" Fitz sprang up and took off after Eli, but by that time Eli was already out of the caf, and nowhere to be seen.

Clare shook her head, and gathered the rest of her food, plus an extra burger for Eli. Turning to Adam she smiled, "So where do you think he's hiding this time?"

"I think in back of Morty is a safe bet." Both teens laughed and sat down where they could see Fitz running around various places looking for black clothed teen.

"And the battle rages on." Clare laughed.


	2. Bucket O' Bleach

Eli had to hand it to himself, taking Fitz down a notch or two like that yesterday had felt great, even if it meant hiding out the rest of the day. At least Clare had thought of him enough to bring him a burger and check up on him every once in a while, whether it was love or just friendship he didn't know yet.

"Good morning Dr. Doom." Adam said as he fell in step with Eli in the main lobby of Degrassi.

Eli put on his trademark smirk, "And why are we in such a good mood today? Usually you don't speak whole sentences until after first period."

"No reason in particular other than I'm actually looking forward to gym today." Adam was grinning ear to ear.

"Do I want to know?" He cringed at all the possibilities why gym could be fun today, and he shuttered all the thoughts.

"One word. Bianca." Adam wiggled his eye brows, and Eli snorted at the thought. Both boys laughed a little together, walking to their lockers.

"Ooh Eli..." Fitz sang out as the two boys rounded the corner.

"You know from over here it sounded like you were moaning my name. Sorry Fitzy, I don't roll that way."

"Oh you think you're real cute don't you?" Fitz towered over him but Eli didn't back down.

"I think you think I'm cute." All the girls choked back laughter as they began to gather around to watch the confrontation.

Fitz glared daggers Eli as he turned around to open his locker door. "What's wrong Fitz, did I just spill your secret?" Eli laughed as he pulled open his locker.

Everybody jumped back almost three feet because of the bucket that came tumbling down at Eli and splattering all over his clothes. Almost immediately they began to fade the black material until you could clearly see they were bleach stains.

Fitz high-fived some of his friends that had helped rig the bucket in Eli's locker. "Oh, my secrets are good, thanks for being concerned. But it looks like you spilled a lil something on yourself!" Fitz took off laughing while Eli glared daggers at his back down the hallway.

"Oh, he's a dead man walking." Eli growled to Adam, who looked nervous the Eli would attack Fitz from behind.


	3. Poka Dotted Idiot

"Ultimate pay back is now is motion." Eli said, new shirt on, and ruined one stuffed in his backpack, as he slid into his cafeteria seat. Clare once again rolled her eyes, and Adam sat a little straighter eager to hear the sadistic boys plans.

"What've you go in mind?" Adam replied.

"Well I was thinking something that would ruin him in this school. Something that's an oldie but a goodie." Eli smirked, messing with a small thread at the bottom of his shirt.

"What about a water balloon full of pee?" Adam laughed, Eli snorted, and Clare scrunched her nose up, and continued to eat her perfectly sliced carrots.

"Nah, it just doesn't seem good enough. I want something that screams pay back."

"Eli, it was just a shirt. You can always buy another one." Clare said calmly, trying to smooth over the situation.

"Just a shirt? Clare, you're telling me it was just a shirt?" Eli looked like he could include her in his revenge plan, and Clare coward a bit in her seat. "It was an original Dead Hands T-Shirt!" But of course Clare had no idea what that meant.

"I'm sorry Eli, when you put it that way, it makes Fitz looking like an idiot with his pants down sound completely reasonable." She huffed in her seat, picking at the forgotten carrot.

"That's it! Clare you're a genius!" With one last sadistic smirk, Eli leapt from the table and dashed out of the caf.

"Oh dear. What've I done?" Clare dropped her head in her hands.

The next day Fitz strutted up to the school steps, baggy pants and hoodie jacket adorned his body as usual.

"Hey Fitzy!" Eli yelled, slapping Fitz on the back as he popped up from behind the teller teen. "Lets be friends and just end this stupid feud." Eli stuck his hand out for Fitz to take, looking all sincere in his offer.

"Whatever you say emo boy." Fitz grabbed his hand to shake, just as Eli slapped on a pair of handcuffs. "What the hell do you think you're doing." By some power that was probably nothing short of a mischievous angel helping him, Eli managed to get Fitz's other hand around the flag pole, and firmly secured in the other cuff, restraining him in place.

"Or, on second thought I could do this!" Eli firmly pulled Fitz's baggy jeans down, fully exposing white and orange poka dotted boxers. "And now smile for the anti-grape vine!" Eli pulled out a video camera and started recording Fitz who was having a difficult time trying to pick up his pants as he was bound to the pole.

"You're a dead man Goldsworthy! You hear me!" Everyone gathered around to see Fitz in such a horrible position. As Clare and Adam strolled up to school, they knew almost immediately that Eli had struck. Clare groaned and walked up to see a poka dotted Fitz glaring daggers at everyone.

"Well I didnt think he was the poka dots type." Adam exclaimed as he took the camera from Eli and started to get more angles of Fitz, as everyone continued to gather and laugh at what Eli exclaimed was "The village idiot."


	4. Sesame Street

"This feud needs to end!" Clare hissed as Fitz walked by the trio's lockers, glaring death at Eli.

"Oh I'll end it alright, but it'll be at HIS expense." the dark sense of humor boy smirked.

"Eli!" Clare moaned. "Why can't you be the bigger person?"

"Are you making fun of the height difference? Cause the extra altitude doesn't give him an advantage."

Adam spit out the soda he had been sipping on, choosing to remain silent until then.

"Eli! Stop making light of this! Someone's going to take it too far and end up hurt!" Why couldn't Eli see all the logic in what she was telling him? All the facts were there, he just had to man up and tell Fitz the fight was over.

"Yea, better listen to your little girlfriend emo bird boy!" Fitz shouted from a small distance down the hall.

"What's he talking about "bird boy"?" Adam asked, looking from Clare to Eli, puzzled look in place.

"You see, you got him talking in all crazy cryptic messages. Bird boy could mean anything to him Eli, for all we know, it means dead boy in a ditch!" Eli snorted a little at how much Clare had read into the new name, but the smirk was lost when he saw the serious worry in her eyes.

Eli sighed and turned to undo his lock on his locker door, and as soon as it was off the door practically swing open, items falling out.

"Oh. My. God." Was all Adam could say. Everything that had once been housed in Elis locker was now gone. No longer was the door cluttered with dead hand pictures, and other such bands. No longer was there a noose and skeleton hanging from the back hook. No, now all that littered his locker was various items from...Sesame Street.

Elis eye twitched as he saw the countless Big Bird pictures on the door. And several of the plush dolls had fallen out when the locker was opened. Fitz was a dead man, and Eli was gonna be the one to kill him.

"Uh-oh, looks like the emo bird is becoming a coo-coo bird!" Fitz and a large group of his friends cackled evilly as the walked down the hallway making loud bird noises.

Oh yes, Fitz would die a slow death.


	5. A Year of Detention

********A/N*****Wow, two chapters in one day? Ive finally getting back in the swing of writing :D So these are a few ideas that have been bouncing around in my head. Please let me know if you have any requests you would like to see, just make sure to specify who is getting pranked (?) So enjoy! :D**

After having his locker defaced, and made a mockery of, Eli refused to take it lying down, and after much fighting with Clare on the whole subject matter, she was finally back on his side, and ready to help.

"So you need me to do what again?" Clare asked as she continued to pour glue bottles into a giant tub used for storage.

"Well the idea is that Fitz will be hanging around outside after school, so you and Adam sneak on top of the overhang and dump this on him. I'll be waiting inside for him to see me, and if I he's as dumb as everybody here thinks, then he'll have no choice but to chase me and try to kill me." Clare sighed when she heard the last part of the plan. It's true, she knew it was coming, but why did he have to be so stubborn sometimes? Ignoring her sigh, Eli continued, "Then we'll meet back up at the cafe and prepare phase 2."

"What's phase 2?" Adam asked from where he was laying on Clare's couch.

"_Clare, I'm home…_who are you two?" Her mother had called from the front door, and was now standing in front of a sheepish looking Eli and Adam.

"Just Clare's school friends, so now that we're all set for the project we'll see you tomorrow, bright and early." Eli had to concentrate very hard on looking innocent in front of his loves mother.

_**The Next Day**_

As the final bell rang, all the students came flooding out of their classes.

"You two ready?" Eli asked as they made their way to the front where they would separate until phase 1 was complete.

Fitz strutted, out on the school steps to hang out before he would eventually have to go home. According to Eli, Fitz didn't have very good senses or he would have noticed two awkward teenagers standing right above him with a giant tub full of glue.

"Ok Clare, time to tar and feather the flightless bird." Adam smirked, and was actually caught off guard when he heard a small laugh. Even Clare Edwards couldn't deny this would be funny.

Right when Fitz stepped on the mark, the proceeded to pour the entire tub contents on his head, laughing all the while.

"You're dead!" Fitz Yelled, when he spotted the two. Running inside to catch them at the roof entrance Fitz came to skidding halt when he saw Eli lounging against the wall. "You." Fitz glared.

"Yup, that's me." Eli smirked and kicked off the wall, and started walking down the hall.

"Dead man Goldsworthy!" And with that the chase was on.

Running into the café that was now vacated for the day, the three teens grabbed their potato gun launchers that Eli's father had maliciously provided (no one messed with his son).

"Ready, Aim, FEATHER!" Adam cried, and Fitz turned the corner.

"What's going on here? Fitz? What are you wearing?" Principal Simpson asked as he jogged over to see what was going on, after hearing all the running and yelling.

As Principal Simpson was checking out Fitz and trying to wrap his mind around what happened, Adam had just enough time to kick all three guns away, and out of sight.

"Well sir, I do believe Fitz was trying to make a point when he said our mascot was a wimp, and that birds are much cooler. And can apparently win things." Eli said, all innocence lining his face.

"Oh really? Well I will have you know Fitz, that our mascot can not only win, but it is one of the most feared animals in the kingdom."

"But I-" Fitz was cut off, when Adam decided to speak up.

"And I think he said it was stupid also sir." That was the final breaking point for Simpson.

"Well then we can just digeuss this in detention. But not only will we be talking about it tomorrow, or the next day, no. We will be talking about this all year, until you can show a little school spirit.

Fitz, still being shocked at all that was happening, could only glare at Eli as he silently laughed behind Simpson's back.

"Let's go Fitz, maybe your parents would like to know that you think so highly of your school." Walking away, Eli was only graced with one last glare from Fitz. He knew this wasn't over, but he was ready for a fight.

"So, anybody up for some eggs?" All three teens laughed but agreed, yea they could handle whatever was coming next.


End file.
